Today I Woke Up Free For The First Time In 15 Years

 

 

Every single day for over 15 years I have been forced to wake up as early as I can, push myself to make a healthy breakfast, and take an overflowing handful of medication as quickly as possible before my body decided to flare up any more than it already was when I awoke.

Those days are gone.

I am free!

That was nearly 6,000 days straight of pain and panic before I could even open my eyes

every

single

day.
Until you’ve experienced to this, you cannot consider yourself a ‘master’ of chronic pain.

And I CAN FINALLY SAY I HAVE MASTERED IT 🙇

There were so many times I thought perhaps I would be trapped forever.

There were so many times that I wanted nothing more than to escape from this body. There were so many times that I pleaded with God asking, “why?”

There was so many times that I found myself curled up in a ball in the darkness, covered in tears, shaking from my soul, berated by fears, feeling like there was nowhere to go… But down.

Less than 1 year ago I sat outside of UCLA Hospital after seeing my new rheumatologist for the first time, and I looked up wheelchairs again.

I listened on audio to a woman’s story about finally making peace with her condition and becoming friends with her wheelchair.

I thought, “I could do that.” She was lovely in her sharing of her pain. But God shook me from these ruminations.

He told me to keep fighting, to have faith, to take a leap.

8 years ago God told me to take a medical leap and to begin consuming cannabis.

1 year ago God instructed I let go of my fear of taking Enbrel, and add it to my therapy.

I did.

And less than 1 year later, here I am.

It’s all I’ve ever wanted, and still I can hardly believe it sometimes. I can hardly process this freedom from constant, distracting pain!

Yet, it was amazing how quickly my mind was ready to forget about constantly answering to medication timers…

I’ve been ready to be free!

So far, zero side effects. And I mean ZERO.

I’ve also been able to taper to nearly zero Prednisone after 9 years! I’m now at 3 mg once per day just to humor my adrenaline gland for a few more weeks. 

Then-

I will also be totally free of that horrible, controlling drug!

THANK YOU 1 million times over eternally to everyone who has helped me, supported me, encouraged me, and given me love along the way.

You have gifted me strength that you could not even imagine.
I pray to continue gifting that strength back.

Go thrive.

 I am.

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DAILY I cosume THC, CBD, Prednisone (tapering), Plaquenil, Sulfasalazine, and weekly I do injections of Enbrel from home.

Vitamins, St. Johns Wort, exercise, self-education, self-care, compassion, meditation, yoga, stretching, forgiveness, letting go, sunshine, Vitamin D, organic Apple Cider Vinegar for natural antibiotic, going gluten-free, eating properly-raised meats, vegetables, little sugar, no high fructose corn syrup, stopping consuming alcohol… all of these things have been equally important in my healing.

Comment below to ask questions that I can cover further in future articles. Subscribe to stay up-to-date on my journey and as I share realistic tips on healing! Xo

One thought on “ Today I Woke Up Free For The First Time In 15 Years

  1. I thank God for you and how he is using you and your willingness to be courageous and never give up , you are my Hero. I always knew you were beautiful on the outside but you are more beautiful inside, where it most matters. Continue to be a blessing and encouragement to others and God will also Always be with you and for you , like me. Love Mom

    Liked by 1 person

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